RESOLVE Advocacy Day Photo

May 8, 2013 was RESOLVE Advocacy Day.  I went to Washington, D.C. to meet with  New York Senators and Congressmen and advocate for two bills.  One was the Family Act to give a 50% credit of up to $12,000 for infertility treatment.  That way you would no longer have to go broke while trying to get pregnant. The other bill was the Women’s Veteran and Other Health Care Improvement Act to provide infertility treatment to veterans.  From 2003-2011,  nearly 2,000 veterans sustained injuries that could render them infertile, and the VA was mandated not to provide IVF.  With passage of the new act, veterans would get infertility treatment and be able to start their families.  I advocated with my fellow New Yorkers.  They were a diverse bunch that included Rosie Pope, the fashionista from the Bravo show Pregnant with Heels, and Mrs. New York whose beauty pagent platform was infertility.  Rosie Pope was advocating in heels, and Mrs. New York wore her beauty patent sash for photo shoots. Advocating was fun and worthwhile.  I hope to see you next year in Washington, D.C  for Advocacy Day 2014!  Meanwhile you can hear about my Advocacy Day experiences on my radio show In Search of Fertility.

NIAW Photo

When I started infertility treatment at age forty-four, I felt privileged to be sitting in the doctor’s office.  I had needed to qualify for the hospital “fertility club” before I was even granted this meeting.  I was proud that my FSH and estrogen levels were low enough to begin treatment. When I attended my hospital orientation, I expected a freshman orientation like the one at college.  The women would have a chance to bond.  We would embark on our baby journey together.  At graduation, instead of a diploma, we would all be handed a baby.  However, the orientation office looked like a lawyer’s conference room.  There was a long, rectangular mahogany table with matching wood chairs, paneled wood walls, and a smiling nurse standing at the end of the table. This was not an introduction to freshman fertility life at the hospital.  We were not introduced to each other.  Our nurse lecturer wore a lab coat and name tag.  We rapidly were immersed in IVF 101.  I felt isolated and overwhelmed.  I ended up going through five, failed IVF treatments with my own eggs without adequate support and knowledge.  Then I turned to donor eggs.  Since then I wrote the book Grade A Baby Eggs: An Infertility Memoir about my own infertility experiences so that other women would not feel so alone, and they could read the story of a fellow fertility seeker.  Then I started hosting the radio show In Search of Fertility so that I could share important infertility information and have guests recount their own infertility journeys. And right now everyone can band together and be united in solidarity with the join the movement National Infertility Awareness Week!

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

Surrogacy Legal Contract Photo

When you use a surrogate, you must obtain a lawyer.  On my radio show In Search of Fertility,  I spoke with attorney Julie Tavoso who shared critical information about surrogacy legal contracts. The issues are very complicated and vary across states.  In fact in some states you have to adopt your own baby in order for the child to be yours, even if the infant is your own genetics, and the surrogate was hired  just to be a carrier.  If necessary be prepared to cross state lines.  In fact surrogacy isn’t even legal in my own home state of New York. 

In the new  movie “Admission” Tina Fey wishes that she had raised a child.  Then she finds a boy who may be the one she gave up for adoption.  She helps him get into Princeton where she is an admission counselor.  Before this move, Tina Fey got to star in a different one called  ”Baby Mama,” about a single mom who hires a surrogate.  Who knows next she may be in a movie where she gets to be an egg donor who  falls in love with a sperm donor.  Infertility has come into the movie mainstream! 

This week on  In Search of Fertility, I interviewed an egg donor named Colby.  Colby donated four times previously.  She wanted to help other women have a much desired baby.  Colby felt that she was giving her eggs but the resulting babies were not hers.  When I used an egg donor, I too had to feel that the baby would be truly mine.  I greatly appreciated hearing about egg donation from the perspective of the donor.  Colby enjoyed donating so much that she plans to donate two more times and to reach the six time recommended donation limit.

Being A Surrogate Photo

A two time surrogate shares her experiences on the In Search of Fertility radio show.  Sandrine Levy tells of the joy of carrying a baby, giving birth and handing the miracle infant to an ecstatic family.  Her own husband and children were  supportive of her being  a surrogate and her best cheer leaders during the process. Now Sandrine Levy helps others to become surrogates at the Family Forward Surrogacy agency.  Surrogacy is as win-win for the surrogate and the lucky parents to be.

Surrogacy Photo

My recent guest  on the radio show In Search of Fertility was Sandra Lippard of Family Forward Surrogacy.  For those who need a surrogate, it is not always easy to find one.  Family Forward Surrogacy can help make that happen for Americans and for women from other countries.  The agency recently appeared on French TV.  The French TV crew arrived to spotlight the arrival of French women who are coming to America for a surrogate.  In France it is illegal to use a surrogate.  Once their babies are brought home they are not even recognized as French citizens. In the United States not all states allow surrogacy, but at least the baby is recognized as a US citizen.

Far From The Tree Photo

The book Far From The Tree by Andrew Solomon spotlights families with special needs children including those with dwarfism, schizophrenia and autism.  The author writes about his own son at the end of the book.  His son does not have a particular condition, but he was conceived with an egg donor and a surrogate.  Andrew and his husband John created their son with Andrew’s sperm.  They went on a donor egg hunt to find the egg donor.  The surrogate came courtesy of gratitude.  She was the mother of  two child that her and her wife conceived from sperm donations by Andrew’s husband.  She wanted to give back to her sperm donor and his husband by carrying their child.  In the world of infertility there are less then six degrees of separation!

Psychotherapist Helen Adrienne was the radio show guest on In Search of Fertility.  She wrote the book On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility.  The mind-body connection can be used to lower stress.  Helen writes about “letting go” techniques like hypnosis and imagery. Positive thinking is a plus, and Helen quotes one of her clients whose Irish grandmother used to say “think a good, get a good.”   Helen concludes that out of the adversity of infertility can come life change and unseen benefits. I know that for myself after five  IVF trials with my own eggs and two more with donor eggs, I now am able to handle most things that come my way.  

Attain Fertility Centers Photo

Now if you don’t get pregnant you can get your money back!  I interviewed representatives of Attain Fertility Centers on  the Radio show In Search of Infertility. If you don’t get pregnant from IVF, you can get your money back from Attain! When I was trying IVF five times with my own eggs, I was going broke.  I met other women in the waiting room who had maxed out their credit cards and obtained second mortgages on their homes in order to try one more IVF attempt.  In the end, I did not get my baby after my five attempts with my own eggs.  I would have loved a refund! Next I went on to spend even more money by using donor eggs.