RESOLVE Night Of Hope 2013

NIght of Hope Photo

NIght of Hope Photo

I attended the RESOLVE 2013 Night of Hope  at the Chelsea Piers Lighthouse.  The emcee was actress Elizabeth Rohm.  There were numerous honorees including Dr. Jamie Grifo from NYU Fertility Center who treated infertility patients in the midst of blackouts and flooding during Super Storm Sandy.  Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor Hurricane Sandy can keep the  fertilized egg from being delivered when it is time to go into the uterus.  Even infertility has it heroes.

AFA Illuminations 2013

 

AFA Illuminations 2013 Photo

AFA Illuminations 2013 Photo

For the American Fertility Association’s Illuminations night invitations were issued to a Greek bride and a dead housewife.  Nia Vardolos from My Fat Greek Wedding was given the Carolyn Berger Adoption Advocacy Award and Brenda Strong, the ghostly narrator from Desperate Housewives, was a mistress of ceremonies.  I was one of the guests pigging out on the delicious hors d’oeuvres and dinner served at the Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers.  It was a full house with many fans of fertility and the right to have a baby.

 

 

Infertility Black Magic

WITCH FERTILITY PHOTO

WITCH FERTILITY PHOTO

Even the headmistress witch, Cordelia, in American Horror Story: Coven is not powerful enough to beat infertility.  When her conventional fertility treatments are not successful in Episode 2, she resorts to black magic. However, her spells are not sufficient because she is still not pregnant.  In Episode 3 her doctor says that she simply can not have a baby, and he wishes that he had a magic wand to wave.  So instead she turns to the New Orleans Voodoo Queen for additional magic.  But the Voodoo Queen has a vendetta with Cordelia’s mother and refuses to avail Cordelia of her fertility, goat sacrificing know-how.  There is still time for Cordelia to become pregnant in future episodes.   Although this being  American Horror Story, there is a good chance that she will give birth to a monster.

A BABY OR BUST

 

Mother of George Photo

Mother of George Photo

Having a baby calls for desperate measures.  In the movie Mother of George a Nigerian couple are unable to conceive.  The husband’s mother is desperate for a male grandchild to carry on the family name.  My husband also wanted me to have a male child to carry on his unbroken male lineage that went back eight generations to a famous Jewish scholar called the Vilna Gaon.  My husband’s parents were in their 90’s and anxiously awaiting for their grandchild.  The mother-in-law in Mother of George proposed the solution of having her younger son stand in for her older son to impregnate his wife.  Luckily my husband was an only child so he had no brothers to impregnate me  when I could not get pregnant.  Otherwise my mother-in-law would have been lining them up.

Single Mother By Choice

 

Single Mother By Choice

Single Mother By Choice

In Search of Fertility radio show features a single mother by choice.  Cindy Cohen’s clock was ticking, and she hadn’t met Mr. Right.  So she decided to use a sperm donor to have her baby as a single mother.  Cindy gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  She shares the highs and lows of being a single parent.

INFERTILITY DOCTOR MATCHMAKING

 

Infertility Matchmaking Photo

Infertility Matchmaking Photo

Fertility Authority provides matchmaking for those looking for a doctor.  On In Search of Fertility Jay Palumbo, care manager at Fertility Authority, speaks about finding the right infertility doctor for you.  A free referral is just a phone call away.  There is enough that is out of your control when you are facing infertility and trying to get pregnant.  At least the choice of the right doctor is something that you can control.

RESOLVE Advocacy Day

 

RESOLVE Advocacy Day Photo

RESOLVE Advocacy Day Photo

May 8, 2013 was RESOLVE Advocacy Day.  I went to Washington, D.C. to meet with  New York Senators and Congressmen and advocate for two bills.  One was the Family Act to give a 50% credit of up to $12,000 for infertility treatment.  That way you would no longer have to go broke while trying to get pregnant. The other bill was the Women’s Veteran and Other Health Care Improvement Act to provide infertility treatment to veterans.  From 2003-2011,  nearly 2,000 veterans sustained injuries that could render them infertile, and the VA was mandated not to provide IVF.  With passage of the new act, veterans would get infertility treatment and be able to start their families.  I advocated with my fellow New Yorkers.  They were a diverse bunch that included Rosie Pope, the fashionista from the Bravo show Pregnant with Heels, and Mrs. New York whose beauty pagent platform was infertility.  Rosie Pope was advocating in heels, and Mrs. New York wore her beauty patent sash for photo shoots. Advocating was fun and worthwhile.  I hope to see you next year in Washington, D.C  for Advocacy Day 2014!  Meanwhile you can hear about my Advocacy Day experiences on my radio show In Search of Fertility.

Join The Movement: Never Be Alone

 

NIAW Photo

NIAW Photo

When I started infertility treatment at age forty-four, I felt privileged to be sitting in the doctor’s office.  I had needed to qualify for the hospital “fertility club” before I was even granted this meeting.  I was proud that my FSH and estrogen levels were low enough to begin treatment. When I attended my hospital orientation, I expected a freshman orientation like the one at college.  The women would have a chance to bond.  We would embark on our baby journey together.  At graduation, instead of a diploma, we would all be handed a baby.  However, the orientation office looked like a lawyer’s conference room.  There was a long, rectangular mahogany table with matching wood chairs, paneled wood walls, and a smiling nurse standing at the end of the table. This was not an introduction to freshman fertility life at the hospital.  We were not introduced to each other.  Our nurse lecturer wore a lab coat and name tag.  We rapidly were immersed in IVF 101.  I felt isolated and overwhelmed.  I ended up going through five, failed IVF treatments with my own eggs without adequate support and knowledge.  Then I turned to donor eggs.  Since then I wrote the book Grade A Baby Eggs: An Infertility Memoir about my own infertility experiences so that other women would not feel so alone, and they could read the story of a fellow fertility seeker.  Then I started hosting the radio show In Search of Fertility so that I could share important infertility information and have guests recount their own infertility journeys. And right now everyone can band together and be united in solidarity with the join the movement National Infertility Awareness Week!

Surrogacy Legal Issues

 

Surrogacy Legal Contract Photo

Surrogacy Legal Contract Photo

When you use a surrogate, you must obtain a lawyer.  On my radio show In Search of Fertility,  I spoke with attorney Julie Tavoso who shared critical information about surrogacy legal contracts. The issues are very complicated and vary across states.  In fact in some states you have to adopt your own baby in order for the child to be yours, even if the infant is your own genetics, and the surrogate was hired  just to be a carrier.  If necessary be prepared to cross state lines.  In fact surrogacy isn’t even legal in my own home state of New York. 

Admission to Motherhood

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

In the new  movie “Admission” Tina Fey wishes that she had raised a child.  Then she finds a boy who may be the one she gave up for adoption.  She helps him get into Princeton where she is an admission counselor.  Before this move, Tina Fey got to star in a different one called  “Baby Mama,” about a single mom who hires a surrogate.  Who knows next she may be in a movie where she gets to be an egg donor who  falls in love with a sperm donor.  Infertility has come into the movie mainstream!