Join The Movement: Never Be Alone

 

NIAW Photo

NIAW Photo

When I started infertility treatment at age forty-four, I felt privileged to be sitting in the doctor’s office.  I had needed to qualify for the hospital “fertility club” before I was even granted this meeting.  I was proud that my FSH and estrogen levels were low enough to begin treatment. When I attended my hospital orientation, I expected a freshman orientation like the one at college.  The women would have a chance to bond.  We would embark on our baby journey together.  At graduation, instead of a diploma, we would all be handed a baby.  However, the orientation office looked like a lawyer’s conference room.  There was a long, rectangular mahogany table with matching wood chairs, paneled wood walls, and a smiling nurse standing at the end of the table. This was not an introduction to freshman fertility life at the hospital.  We were not introduced to each other.  Our nurse lecturer wore a lab coat and name tag.  We rapidly were immersed in IVF 101.  I felt isolated and overwhelmed.  I ended up going through five, failed IVF treatments with my own eggs without adequate support and knowledge.  Then I turned to donor eggs.  Since then I wrote the book Grade A Baby Eggs: An Infertility Memoir about my own infertility experiences so that other women would not feel so alone, and they could read the story of a fellow fertility seeker.  Then I started hosting the radio show In Search of Fertility so that I could share important infertility information and have guests recount their own infertility journeys. And right now everyone can band together and be united in solidarity with the join the movement National Infertility Awareness Week!

DON’T IGNORE THE NEED FOR COUNSELING


Infertility is a low blow. It comes from nowhere and leaves you reeling. Then if you start infertility treatments, you get pounded some more with blood drawings, hormone shots and internal probes. There is the anxiety of waiting to see if you have a baby or the knock out punch of no pregnancy. I myself mourned the loss of my baby five times when I repeatedly tried IVF with my own eggs and failed. The new DSM-V finds that grieving is associated with depression.  I went from counseling others with infertility to becoming a patient myself at the point when I had to decide whether to use a donor egg. I had to separate my feelings of loss from what I wanted to do in the future. People are afraid that counseling for infertility means your crazy.   The increased risk of anxiety and depression, and the ongoing decision-making and striving for resolution all may indicate that it is time to seek help. What is crazy is ignoring going to therapy when it is needed.