TRUE BLOOD VAMPIRES BIRTH BABIES

 

TRUE BLOOD FERTILITY PHOTO

HBO’s True Blood vampires on Season 5, Episode 10 are ordered by the Authority to birth new vampires.  They have no infertility issues and handily dig their fangs into their human victims to turn them into the living dead.  Vampire Tara, with the same name as the famous plantation, resurrects the movie Gone With The Wind when she paraphrases Prissy’s famous line and says “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no baby vampires.”  This being the 21st century, Tara does not maintain a passive role. Rather than trying to “birth” a vampire, she rebels and stakes the Vampire Sheriff of Bon Temps.  After all, since the Civil War, there has been both Women’s Lib and Civil Rights, and Tara does not have to be a female nincompoop nor anybody’s slave.

I WON THE BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD!

ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Award Photo

This weekend I flew to the ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Awards ceremony in L.A. to see if I would win a book award.  I was a finalist in the category of Women’s Issues.  I had to wait a long time until they got to the “W’s.”  Then the large screen flashed the “honorable mention book.” Afterwards came the bronze book and the silver book.  None of them were mine.  I was giving up on winning and thinking well at least I was a finalist, and I used frequent flyer points to get here from New York so I didn’t spend a fortune.  Then the title Grade A Baby Eggs appeared as the gold medal, first place winner!  One of the presenters was looking at me to see my shocked expression.  I gave her the thumbs up sign.  I was on a lucky streak because I also won the raffle for free book advertising with ForeWord Reviews. Afterwards I celebrated with a peach Margarita by the pool.  The June selection for my book club, 50 Shades of Grey, kept me awake the whole plane ride home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SECRET SEX ROOM REVEALS FERTILITY

 

A glass case in the Naples National Archaeological Museum in Naples displayed 25 terra cotta penises, 3 breasts and 4 uteri all plucked from the ashes of Pompeii.  For years they couldn’t be seen because the secret sex room housing Roman erotica was declared obscene.   More recently it was decided that modern day viewers and 14-year-olds accompanied by a parent could handle the sexual content. During Roman times, the terra cotta body parts were scattered around the home to bring fertility and they were openly viewed by everyone.

ROTHSCHILD HEIRESS MADE INFERTILE

Beatrice Rothschild’s groom gave her an STD that rendered her infertile and caused her to be bedridden for a year and a half.  The audio guide provided on the tour of her Italian Villa discretely revealed that her husband gave her “something”  that made her unable to have children.  Most likely gonorrhea.  Needless to say, theirs was an unhappy marriage.  Beatrice eventually adjusted and her pets, which included monkeys, dogs and a mongoose, became her children.  She even created the wedding of the year for two of her dogs that was attended by other pets and their owners; all dressed to the nines in the height of gilded age fashion.

Comparison Shopping for Donor Eggs

Comparison shopping when buying donor eggs is a must.  The price for the same donor’s eggs can vary widely.  Donors often list with numerous agencies.  It is imperative to check the list price for the donor as well as the fee of the agency.  Some agencies charge a percentage of the donor’s price and and others charge a flat fee.  An educated donor egg consumer will be a savy shopper and discover the best bargains.  Unless of course you want the elite eggs of an an Ivy League student that may sell for $50,000 or more.

STATE OF WONDER FOR FERTILITY

Ann Patchett’s book State of Wonder keeps a marvelous secret.  There is a tribe in the Amazon where women in their 70’s are having babies.  A pharmaceutical company hopes to cash in on this miracle baby-grow for women of a certain age.  While I was trying to get pregnant, I kept searching for a new discovery that would enable me to use my own eggs to become pregnant in my early 40’s.  The doctors told me that stem cell research would be the answer, but that we were not scientifically there yet.  I would have been thrilled to learn about the Amazon women where age was no barrier to pregnancy.  In fact I would have rushed to the jungle and joined the tribe!

KIRKUS REVIEWS-Grade A Baby Eggs “Well-written and thoughtful”

Kirkus Reviews said Grade A Baby Eggs: An Infertility Memoir was “well-written and thoughtful…a candid, valuable view of infertility.”  Except I didn’t know what they said because I didn’t open the review.  I was afraid that I would get the Rotten Tomatoes version describing my book as incoherent, infertility rants written at the level of  a fourth grader. I waited until I was in a really good mood before I peeked so hopefully I wouldn’t crash as far. Then I screamed and yelled like I just chose the right door and won the game show. Whether I will get my baby is questionable, but at least I gave birth to a healthy book that received a good Apgar score from Kirkus.

THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE INFERTILE

 

 

The time traveler’s wife faced catastrophic infertility issues in Audrey Niffenegger’s book The Time Traveler’s Wife. Every time she became pregnant, her baby inherited its father’s time traveling abilities and time traveled out of the womb. This resulted in multiple miscarriages. Finally, in order to end the angst of never ending losses, the time traveling husband had a vasectomy. Then a still potent version of himself time traveled to the future and impregnated his wife with a miracle baby that came to term. I did not have to overcome my infant hurling out of my womb to become lost in time. However, I did have to face five failed IVF attempts with my elderly eggs. I had no doppelganger younger edition of myself to come to my rescue and supply my husband with fertile eggs. But I did find a youthful egg donor who would be my knight in shining armor come to deliver eggs to the infertile damsel in distress.

INFERTILITY: MOTHER KNOWS BEST

“Infertility treatments will kill you!” my mother exclaimed.  She was not taking the proud to be a grandmother stance that I had hoped.  Instead she was focusing on cancer.  My mother was convinced that the IVF hormones would be a breeding ground for tumors. “Victoria, your grandmother died of melanoma now you’ll be dead too!”  I disregarded my mother’s dire prophecies and proceeded with five IVF treatments with my own eggs. When those failed, I decided to try IVF again with donor eggs. My beautiful baby that beckoned at the end was worth fighting for. However, I knew that my mother was just being melodramatic when she claimed that I’d be dying for a baby as well.  Except that my mother was proven right.  A recent New York Times article found that IVF increases the risk of ovarian cancer fourfold.  Now I’d have to beat the odds to get pregnant and to not get a malignancy.

FERTILITY ROAD LINKS CONTINENTS


All roads lead to infertility.  The magazine Fertility Road of the UK features fertility articles that are read across Europe as well as in the United States.  Each cover depicts a celebrity, and one edition shows Sarah Jessica Parker with the caption “Surrogacy and the City.”  Infertility treatment is the new doctors without borders, and the desire for a baby is universal.  I almost fell off my computer chair when I saw my book Grade A Baby Eggs: An Infertility Memoir reviewed by the magazine. Now the British can enjoy my book too.  In fact the English woman that I befriended in the waiting room of my infertility hospital might be reading the book right now.  She flew to New York to receive an egg donation from her sister who arrived from Australia.  However, she might not be able to recognize herself and our waiting room conversations since I changed everyone’s names for privacy reasons.