40’s THE EGG EXPIRATION DATE FOR WOMEN

 

40's The Egg Expiration Date Photo

When I remarried at age 44, I thought that I would have a baby with my new husband. Instead my fertility doctor told me to use a donor egg at my first appointment.  I almost fell out of my chair.  Other women are just  as shocked as me.  Newsday just published an article with the heading “Delaying Motherhood”  and “misconceptions about getting pregnant in your 30’s and 40’s.”  Apparently Long Island women are putting off pregnancy  until their 40’s and then learning that it is too late.  For those still in their 30’s, egg freezing is the recommended answer.  Unfortunately, I missed the freezer freighter and now I was sailing on the donor egg boat.

SPERM DONOR RECIPIENTS BEWARE!

Sperm Donor Cystic Fibrosis Photo

 The New York Times recently reported that sperm donors are passing serious, disabling illnesses to their offspring.  Popular, disease carrying donors that donate multiple times become Typhoid Harry spreading rare genetic disorders.  Aged sperm, just like old eggs, are prone to deteriorate and have increased risk of progeny with health issues.  Recently sperm that were donated 20 years before and frozen created an offspring with Cystic Fibrosis.  Enhanced screening procedures would eliminate the proliferation of diseased sperm donor babies.

I WON THE BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD!

ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Award Photo

This weekend I flew to the ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Awards ceremony in L.A. to see if I would win a book award.  I was a finalist in the category of Women’s Issues.  I had to wait a long time until they got to the “W’s.”  Then the large screen flashed the “honorable mention book.” Afterwards came the bronze book and the silver book.  None of them were mine.  I was giving up on winning and thinking well at least I was a finalist, and I used frequent flyer points to get here from New York so I didn’t spend a fortune.  Then the title Grade A Baby Eggs appeared as the gold medal, first place winner!  One of the presenters was looking at me to see my shocked expression.  I gave her the thumbs up sign.  I was on a lucky streak because I also won the raffle for free book advertising with ForeWord Reviews. Afterwards I celebrated with a peach Margarita by the pool.  The June selection for my book club, 50 Shades of Grey, kept me awake the whole plane ride home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FREEZING YOUR EGGS WHEN YOU GET DIVORCED

Freezing Your Eggs Photo

When I got divorced in my 30’s, I always knew that I wanted a baby if I remarried.  When I found my second husband in my 40’s, my eggs were no longer viable.  An article in the New York Times reported that parents desperate for a grandchild are taking their still single, aging daughters to freeze their eggs  for when they finally meet Mr. Right.  I wish my parents had taken me to the freezer when I got divorced.  I could have had a “I’m freezing my eggs divorce party,” and then been able to use my own eggs five years later rather than a donor.

MISHAPS EN ROUTE TO A FAMILY OF MY OWN

I was traveling to the A Family of My Own Conference in Washington, D.C.  I was going to sign copies of my book Grade A Baby Eggs and distribute free Silly Putty eggs.  I was carrying one large suitcase and wheeling a box filled with 40 copies of my book.  I managed to wheel the suitcase and carton and arrive safely at Grand Central from my Metro-North station.  Then came the  journey up the majestic marble staircase to the main floor.  A chivalrous gentleman helped me by carrying the wheeler with the books while I negotiated the rest of the baggage.  Unfortunately, he tipped the box and the books fell all over the grand polished white stairs.  It was like the Marriot Courtyard commercial where the luggage contents spill out on the escalator.  We managed to stuff the books back into the box.  I vowed not to part with them again and then took two subway trains to arrive at the Amtrak station.  I finally collapsed into my seat sweaty and exhausted from my extreme weight lifting workout.  At last I arrived in Washington, D.C.  As I descended the tiny staircase, the porter reached for my books.  He pulled the box forwards and the books tumbled out.  They landed under the train and lined the track.  Luckily there was a 20 minute lay over before Virginia so the porter and I could crawl under the train and grab my books.  Next time I think that I will sell ebooks at the conference!

PENIS PROTECTS BABY IN POMPEII

In Pompeii ancient Romans kept their babies safe by tying a bell in the shape of a penis around their neck.  This guaranteed extra protection.  Penis statues brought fertility but also warded off evil, and the noise from the bell scared away malevolent spirits. Once the baby finally arrived with the help of the fertility inducing clay penis, the Roman mother couldn’t risk losing the baby to evil forces.  Terra cotta statues of Priapus, the god of fertility, depicted with a large, erect penis also kept away robbers.  The placard in the Naples National Archaeological Museum explained that a statue of Priapus strategically placed in the garden guarded against thieves because “anyone trying to steal the garden produce risked being impaled on his out-sized member.”

SECRET SEX ROOM REVEALS FERTILITY

 

A glass case in the Naples National Archaeological Museum in Naples displayed 25 terra cotta penises, 3 breasts and 4 uteri all plucked from the ashes of Pompeii.  For years they couldn’t be seen because the secret sex room housing Roman erotica was declared obscene.   More recently it was decided that modern day viewers and 14-year-olds accompanied by a parent could handle the sexual content. During Roman times, the terra cotta body parts were scattered around the home to bring fertility and they were openly viewed by everyone.

HARVARD COOP BOOK SIGNING

Tomorrow Thursday May 17th at 7 p.m.  I will be doing a book signing at the Harvard Coop in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  I will be donating 10% of the sales to RESOLVE of New England which is a local infertility association.  I picked sections of my book Grade A Baby Eggs to read and chose humorous videos to show at my presentation.  I practiced on my husband, and he stayed awake and laughed at my jokes which I thought was a good sign.  If I get nervous before the event, I’ll just remind myself that it can’t be as bad as going through infertility treatments.  I’ll remember to bring some pens, and I know that I’ll be able to do the part where I sign my name Victoria Hopewell in the inside of the book.

ROTHSCHILD HEIRESS MADE INFERTILE

Beatrice Rothschild’s groom gave her an STD that rendered her infertile and caused her to be bedridden for a year and a half.  The audio guide provided on the tour of her Italian Villa discretely revealed that her husband gave her “something”  that made her unable to have children.  Most likely gonorrhea.  Needless to say, theirs was an unhappy marriage.  Beatrice eventually adjusted and her pets, which included monkeys, dogs and a mongoose, became her children.  She even created the wedding of the year for two of her dogs that was attended by other pets and their owners; all dressed to the nines in the height of gilded age fashion.

GRADE A BABY EGGS WINS BOOK AWARD!

Grade A Baby Eggs is a finalist in the ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Awards in the category of women’s issues!  The only thing I ever won was the supermarket color in the Easter Bunny contest when I was 8.  I outlined my coloring book bunny first with black crayon and then turned the other crayons sideways to color within the lines.  My prize was a paint by number set.  Now that I have finally won something again, I am going to the awards ceremony to see if I win.  The winners will be announced at the American Library Association conference in L.A.  I will use my remaining frequent flyer miles to get there from New York and then keep my fingers crossed.